"Privacy" is translated as "yin si" in Chinese. Traditionally, in the
Chinese mind, "yin si" is associated with that which is closed or unfair.
If someone is said to have "yin si," meddlers will be attracted to pry
into his or her affairs. So people always state that they don't have "yin
si."
On the contrary, Americans often declare their intention to protect their
privacy. Their understanding of privacy is that others have no right to
pry into things which belong to themselves alone and have nothing to do
with others. One who is too nosy and who spreads rumors is said to violate the right to
privacy.
In the evening, Sonia and I went to a bar for dinner. In China, when
people mention bars, debauchery usually comes to mind. But here, the bar
was a quiet and tastefully laid out place. People spoke quite softly, afraid of interrupting their neighbors, and sat face to face as they drank, sometimes three or five persons sitting
together. This sort of atmosphere was totally different from my preconception, so I
wanted to take a picture. Sonia stopped me: "Don't you see these people
are pouring out their hearts? Maybe they are colleagues, friends, secret
lovers . They came here looking for a peaceful place free from interruption by
others. They wouldn't want to leave any trace of their having come here.
So taking their pictures would be a serious violation of their right to
privacy."
Is there privacy between husband and wife? One of Sonia's friends married
a talented Chinese man, but recently she became so angry that she wanted a
divorce. The reason was that her husband had opened one of her letters and looked
through her purse. The husband didn't realize that this is not tolerated
in the U.S. He thought being a couple was like being one person; why couldn't he see
the letter or the contents of the purse?
Truly, everyone, even those living as a couple, needs room - not only in three-dimensional space, but
in the heart.
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